I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
