you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
