in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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