i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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