Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize