he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
