I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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