I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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