he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
