Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
