dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
