He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
