Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need water and some morals
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize