he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
