may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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