Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
