ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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