He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
