Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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