Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
