haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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