Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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