you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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