Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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