Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
