Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
