I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
