Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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