What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
