I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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