dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
