How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
