I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
