So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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