in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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