Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Houston, we have a blender
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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