why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
