Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
