We're facebook friends in real life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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