Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
