So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
