kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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