You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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