did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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