i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
