dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
