worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
