I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
