It's like God shit irony all over that family
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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