I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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