She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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