we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
