I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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