I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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