So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
