The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
