just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
