I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
