My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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