can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
