Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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