have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
